new post???from ME??
Posted 3/12/22
hihi... It's been a while hasn't it! I've talked about it earlier on, about how I wanted to take a break. That was a longer time ago, but I felt like i couldn't allow myself to leave my web pages unfinished, and I felt like i needed to stay just so i could finish it and atleast feel completed! well I did, i am fully satisfied with everything my website has to offer and there aren't any new pages that i want to create, so i figured it would be a nice thing to take a break to focus on my own mentality and on myself and i feel refreshed so far! but unfortunately i feel like staying in this pause for a little longer. i feel like i'm doing more things for myself and taking care of myself more, not that it's an issue when i update or something, i definitely still had time but i didn't just cut off neocities , but also just took a break from staying in front of this big pc screen for hours and hours at a time.

Well since it's my first post in a month i also think it'd be cool to post about some new things in my life. Recently i've been trying this new skin care product and it's been doing wonderss!! ever since i've been using it it feels like my skin, which is insanely dry because of how sensitive it is to wind and heat, has completely renewed. after using it, my skin feels completely changed and its not ever worked like this before. it feels smooth and my dead skin is completely gone. it's a sugar scrub, that's one of the best things about it, is that it gets rid of your dead skin, so whenever i use concelear or foundation, it will look perfect!! i'm super happy with it!

another thing is today i went shopping and i bought a nice pajama set. it's silky and it's black and absolutely perfect. i have an ongoing obsession with femininity and sweetness, so for me super cute pj sets,skincare and things like that are a must! ୨୧ - a bonus too, i was thinking about purchasing a set from victoria's secret, but before i could i found this better, cheaper version of them at the mall and i'm very much in love.

yeah, that's sorta it. i am going back into hibernation mode now so cya! ~( so , i've been doing very well ! :) )

random thoughts !! ♪☆
Posted 27/10/22
alright so.. i know this is sorta random but i have to rant [?] about how much i enjoy being a woman!! there is genuinely nothing i love more than going shopping for cosmetics and clothing, trying out new makeup techniques, doing my nails in a cute manner, caring for my hair,lips and skin, going to cafes and studying.(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
I feel like femininity is always demonized in the media and through pop culture. but to be completely honest, femininity makes me feel more confident! it makes me find out more ways to learn about my body and how to work with my features, and overall being happy in my body. unfortunately, in the media being feminine is always seen as "being mean" or "being a tryhard" when it's really just embracing your qualities as a woman and loving yourself, that's what it is for me. And for me, being feminine doesn't necessarily mean being overly girly or obsessed with pink. You can be feminine without being those things which I really like.

i got my nails done today and i'm deeply in love with them! i got sort of a pastel nude pink and on the ring finger i have the outline of a star with a cute jewel inside it. And they're also the perfect lenght for me! They're not extremely long and not too short either! I'm obsessed with the color and i feel like they make my hand look so different ahh!( ^ω^)♪☆ tbh it makes me hand look more slender looking, i don't know how to explain it but my hand looks longer now. it might just be my imagination and how i'm not really used to this lenght in my nails, but as i used to be really insecure about my hands and fingers i feel like that insecurity isn't exsistent now because i've been obsessed with checking my hand today!! i usually take care of my nails too, file them, and take care of them because i've tried my best to grow them but when they did grow, some of them were shorter or looked wonky and i've always just wanted natural, simple and longer nails but whenever i got there i'd look at my nails and they looked weird! that's why i was insecure to be honest. though the nail lady told me i had a beatiful shape which boosted my confidence a lot more!
anyways, so i've grown my nails and for some reason my thumb's nail is always extremely short and zig zag, or my nails look better on my right hand and on the left hand my nails are shorter or something. So when that happened or i unintentionally bite my nail/s from being anxious i just start over and i never really got anywhere. But my dream is honestly to have long,symmetrical and healthy nails that i can paint and work with whenever i want! ο(=•ω<=)ρ⌒☆
Today i also talked to my friend and we talked about going to the mall for a drink, and i suggested we go study aswell as we can now take our laptops to school . so after school we meet up and get there, and we don't have to make any stops at home or anything to get our stuff" ( tho im going to anyways so i can get my supplementary notes that i take at home, or my annotating stuff and the notebooks i need. i don't wanna go to school with even more books that i need for that day because my backpack is already huge and heavy. i also wanna take a shower and get changed because when i arrive home im sorta sweaty ) anyways, obviously she agreed so im excited to do this together! ~(>_<。)\

anyways that's all i had to say lmfao. it's nice to talk about my day and it's helped me get out of my comfort zone.
*:.。.ヾ(●´∀` [☆オヤスミ☆].。.:*

considering a hiatus
Posted 9/10/22
Editted 10/10/22
today i worked on my toybox page, and i'm really happy with how it came out. feel free to check it out here ! …(○・´ω`・)σ but... as enjoyable as it is to keep updating and updating, i've also been considering a small hiatus / pause . and i don't have a good reason, i've just been a little busy with school and such, i'm trying to work much more on my grades because i want to do well in the future ,and i want to have great career opportunities. i have a biology test coming up next friday and i've already started to get ready for it, because i want to reach my full potential!
i'm still thinking about it, and i'm thinking that i might have time to upload normally, just a little less, and still be able to study and pay more attention in class. but i'll decide on that soon, that being said, i might not upload new pages or coding for a while. i'll focus on blogs because i enjoy writting about my day an food reviews, and if i take my final decision, i'll post on it here! (´・ωゞ)

edit : alright so, i've been thinking a little about my website and about taking that break, but i know there are some things i wont allow myself to leave unfinished. such as the second section of my layout and the archive page that's in my to do list, which is also the last thing on the list. i'd like to finish these things before finally setting down and taking my break! i'm working on the archive right now, and i'm hoping to get it over by tommorrow/next day after tommorrow!
U。・x・)ノ岡山白桃カステラ Food Blog!
Posted 3/10/22
(〃゚∀´) hihi and welcome to my first food blog! today i'll be reviewing Okayama White Peach Castella! [ 岡山白桃カステラ ]
2 days ago i went to a store that had all kinds of snacks from asia! they have a lot of really good snacks and also food, so i check it out from time to time. while looking around, something caught my attention! i wasn't sure what exactly it was, but from the package alone it looked to be super delicious. it had lovely tender cakes on the package, along with some white peaches next to it. it looked really good!(*´人`*) !! i took it from the shelf and i held it and i could feel the cake inside of it. i could feel it was very soft and squishy which made me really wnt it! i love softer snacks, especially when it's little cakes! so i bought it and got to try it out. it was 4$!

when i got back home i was eager to try it, so i went ahead and opened it up! it smelled really sweet and peachy, and i was so excited. when i took it out, i could immediately feel the texture. it was soft to the touch, but not as fragile as i thought which was really nice. i was a little afraid it would be super fragile and would crumble, but it didnt which relieved me! tho it was a little squishy which i also liked!
in the package there were 3 of them, to be honest the price kind of annoyed me because 4$ for a small snack is A LOT in my country, considering i could even get a big boba tea for less than that /srs, not sure if it's reasonable for other individuals though, to me it was ridiciously expensive, considering the cakes were also super small and you could finish it in 2 bites tbh!
so, i muched one it and oh my gosh. this made me forget the annoyance about the price altogether!! it was super tasty! it wasn't extremely sweet, it had the right amount of sweetness to it. it was mushy and amazing. i could eat this forver oh my gosh. im really happy i got to try this out, because i'm definitely gonna buy this again! it had the perfect texture to it. i enjoyed muching on it and i swear to god if i knew how good it would be i would've probably bought 2. ∵ゞ(≧ε≦o)ぶっ
generally, my thoughts on it are :
taste ★★★★★
texture ★ ★★★★
price ★☆☆☆☆
overall, ★★★★☆

(ノゝω・)ノ i definitely recommend trying it out if you're able to find it somewhere!-☆゚.:。+゚ it was super good, one of the nicest snacks i got from that store. my only dislike on it was the price! other than that, it was amazing and delicious!

will be attaching pictures soon!
posted 30/9/22
pls dont read this because id probably feel shitty after, but i felt like i neeed a place to rant.

i feel like me and my friends dont really work together anymore. so me and this classmate were really close ONLINE but she was in this other friend group which i was never invited into, so obviously we never hung out back then. i feel excluded and the other girls heavily disliked me, it didnt work. this summer though, the 2 of us grew super close and we started going out together too, to the movies, cafes, or around the school building we'd meet and go thrifting or cosmetic shopping, i literally loved her and she was my best friend. we were really close, we talked daily and we helped eachother out through tough times. it felt amazing, and i could wait for school because we already had our seating plan arranged and everything. we wanted to sit next to eachother and thats what we did., but, of course theres a but, before school started we talked about the other girls from her friend group and she mentioned to me that they didnt talk once after school or during summer break. and she told me she felt like she was just someone to hangout at school with so you dont feel lonely and that by the time they're all home they don't talk or hangout as much. i told her i couldn't resist another year where i'd see them talk about their plans in front of me while im uninvited, and i didnt like going up to her to talk to her but being cut off my her other friends, which again, didnt really like me. i know she couldn't choose between me and her friends of course, i understand that. but i couldn't really resist it. i was also scared that the girls would sit next to her and she'd go back to how it used to be.. we talked about it, she promised me so many times that shell cut those friends out and wouldnt talk to them anymore, she promised it would be just the two of us.
school started, we were staying outside, we walked to school together. on the way there, we meet the other girls aswell and one of the girls that used to be closer to her started talking to her, she kept glancing over at me and stuff but she still talked to them, well, i tried not to think much of it because i knew i could trust my best friend! the 2 girls also sit in front of us.. then first day was over and we were hanging out together. she started to rant negatively about them even t hough she was talking to them and letting them in to our conversations. but i thought it meant that shes finally ready to cut them off, becaues i always thought they were toxic. and she said that even if the girl from the friend group shes closer with sat right in front of her and she said she wont talk to her at all. then, first week went okay, they did talk but not as much. i thought it was great and all, finally having a best friend to survive school with. we talked about it so much and it felt too good to be real.. but, after the first 2 [?] weeks of school is when it started to go exactly the direction i wish it didnt go to. so, me and my friend were planning a movie marathon for the longest time ever. i invited her to my house to sleep over but she said she was kinda busy, i asked her if she wanted to go to the movies then and she didnt really give me an answer. that day i was tired and wanted to go home, but she and the other girl wanted to hangout. so i didnt think much of it i guess,, it felt odd that they were hanging out without me even after all the promises she told me, about how she wasnt gonna do it. then after a few hours she texts me ' hey do you wanna go to the movies with me and x on saturday? ' and i was like 😀...... what. like not only did she hangout with her alone after school, but she was already inviting her to stuff we planned on doing together for months. even though when i asked her about it she barely gave me a proper answer. and i was like 'ion know man!' but i decided to go.. i couldnt really stand the idea of them having fun at the movies without me and genuinely i felt jealous that even after 3 months of summer in which we talked daily and non stop, 2 weeks of school was enough for the other girl to grow close on her. i feel toxic about it, ofc she can have other friends but why make so many empty promises??? anyways, we went to the mall, decided not to go to the movies though. we just hung out. me and that girl started being friends aswell and it was pretty fun. so my bff thought it was finally gonna workout, but idk..
so 4 weeks in , basically now we're in a friend group and doing everything together, i havent hung out with my bff ALONE ever since, since the other girls are also invited. i mean i didnt have fun with them and everything, we laughed a lot and stuff. but i still felt like idk. im not that close to her friends, and the only reason im even there is because of her, to me that doesnt seem like a very stable friendship yk? anyways, this entire week was hell. like literally. there are some periods where we put out desks together and stuff, but this week she started inviting the other girl aswell. idk if this is the right word but i felt like i was third wheeling all the time. the 4th girl in the group got sick this week and it was just the 3 of us, trios. never. work. i felt terrible, they both started hanging out together daily and didnt really tag along. then me and my bff wanted to talk about things because we started to have like small arguments and bad reactions. and we sorted it out and i hoped it was gonna turn out okay, we make plans to go alone to a cafe and stuff but eventually the other girl was invited too and i said fuck it im not going sorry, and today she asked me if she wanted to hangout with me alone since the other girl was busy and i was excited and said yes, then again, she was also invited and i didnt go. seriously today we barely even talked because they were too busy talking and joking together and everything. i just stood in my desk in silence,i was incredibly sad and felt super tired. i literally wanted to cry because i was that upset. (im sensitive) she thinks its gonna work but it literally took ONE month for me to feel exactly how i felt last year, if not worse. sometimes i even see a side eyeing to eachother when we talk and i say something unconvienent and i felt rlly bad about mysef and felt like not saying anything. i also got like weird looks from her and i felt alone and stupid the entire day. and the fact im way more upset at her then the other girl. because honestly the other girl is a good friend and i have no problem with her, its honestly my bsf that im dissapointed in. i dont wanna make her the bad guy though, because she does try to let me in into conversations and today she asked me a couple times if i was upset at her or something, im sure she tries but like... bro i ranted to you about these things so many times like what??? how r u just gonna ignore me feeling shitty the entire day. im 100% she knew exactly what it was though, like i know her and ive learned her over the summer and im so sure that she knows why i felt down today. idk. i feel like asking my teacher to move me in a different desk because i literally cant resist ONE more week i feel like im going to burst and literally scream. we do hangout and stuff and its fun but this was definitely not how i wanted this year to go. i have no problem with her having different friends but i feel like the only time we're only really friends is when we're at home. at school it feels completely different.
i have no idea how to tell her that i dont really wanna be friends anymore, or about how its bothering me . i really dont . i feel like her and the other girls are maybe just meant to be friends and she and i are not, and thats ok. not all friendships work i guess. ill just stick to surviving on my own this school year. however that plays out.

salutations :D
posted 0/0/00
(。・ω・)ノ゙ salutations!♪ ! i have not written in a while,, but im alive and well! ⊂彡☆ (*v ∀ v*)-=≡☆
so, not much has been happening. ive been hanging out with m friends more, going to caffes after school or to the library to study. i went there a few days ago with my sister and we stayed there for a couple of hours. it was pretty nice, i could concentrate well and i felt motivated to get my work done! i cant do that as well at home, probably because to the library i got there with an objective in mind! to study! and thats the only reason i can go there, so it made me want to do study. though at home its supr supr boring il|li(つω-`。)il|li
but...yeah. my stepdad also went back to america a week and som days ago, its been hard for my mom but he'll be back soon!
that's all! goin to sleep now, ☆。゚+.オヤ(´・ωゞ)スミ.+゚。★
feeling ill.
posted: 9/12/22
today i woke up with a sore throat. worst way to start of a boring school monday. I can barely swallow without feeling pain and its so irritating!! I went to school feeling not too good, I got there and I was fine. Still had a sore throat, but when I think the sickness kicked in more is when I came back from school. I had a free,last class where I just sat on a bench outside and on my phone. I was with my friends but not really in the mood for anything, though i felt even worse looking at everyone being fine and going about their day. I was feeling like shit at school. Anyways, class is over and we get to go home. It started to kick in while I was waiting for the bus in the bus station, I was sitting there, my throat still hurt, and then I started to feel it in my legs. That weakness you feel around your ankles when you're sick, or maybe just in my case but I feel very weak in my ankles, which only usually happens when I'm sick! I'm like, i've definitely caught the flu or something. The bus app I had wasn't working, how convenient, and I was already in a shitty mood but oh god, that only made me even madder.
I waited around 10 minutes before it started to work again, and it said my bus is coming in 5 minutes. by that point i'm relieved and impatiently waiting for it, just for the worst thing that could happen. it's fucking bugged or some shit. I check it again after 10 minutes of waiting, maybe there's traffic! but no! it's coming in a fucking hour!!!! and i was so upset but atleast another bus was coming in around 10 minutes.
I started getting sicker and sicker.
When I thought the worst couldn't happen, it did. The bus stopped. It was pretty full but I could stick myself through people, when someone I very much despise was right next to me, i avoided eye contact at all costs, and if the busses came faster i wouldn't have even gone in in the first place, i would've waited for the next one. but no. here, our busses are very crowded and come very frequently, so i had no choice. i stood there next to him in silence trying to somehow balance and keep myself standing if the bus took and unexpected turn and i fell over him or over someone else, that would've been the last straw and i would've probably cried from anger. its the most embarassing thing. I could barely hold onto anything.
Fortunately my house isn't too far away from that bus station, it takes 5 minutes by car but a lot longer just walking. With the traffing and everything i stood there, with sore ankles and throat, barely holding onto the railing, next to someone i hate with a burning passion, and somehow got through it. I never got off so fast, but *expectedly* and sadly he gets off at the same stop. I noticed that he was walking very fast and I tried to walk really slow trying not to catch up..
Then I went to a store, where I started feeling even sicker. I felt really weak, everywhere, my entire body was in pain, I could barely walk home. I trust the store keeper, I crashed there and after like 10 minutes of trying to get myself to feel better, I decided to leave. I got home, threw myself on my bed and didn't get up for hours. my eyes were starting to burn a lot and i was tearing up occasionally. then i just tried watching a show but i barely even could, my eyes were burning, the flashing screen wasnt helping and i was only focusing on the pain and how i was gonna go to school the next day; i turned it off and spent a lot of time on my phone, i started burning up too. ugh. i was shivering and very cold, and i had a lot of craving. i ate pudding,some chocolate i found in the fridge, pistachio and i even called my mom to get some food on the way home. i took some pills and i'm feeling a little better, but still, i hate when i get sick. and my throat still hurts and its inavoidable.
hopefully this means i get a day off school tomorrow!!
week one of school is over..
posted: 9/11/22
Well, from the title, week one of school is over! And I must say... I'M NOT PREPARED!!! I'm already scared to be honest. But i'm also gonna go out more since schools started, and I'll hangout with my friends more so it's pretty cool.

Yesterday me and 2 friends went to the mall, originally we were supposed to go to the cinema but we decided not to go today and to go next weekend. We went to a cafe and it was super cozy in there! They had super nice decorations and it really got me in the mood for fall. It was also really ambiental and the lightning was really soft and calming. The three of us got the same thing , an iced passionfruit lemonade! It was really good, we laughed and had a nice time!! We also got literally the best table there and we talked about many things.It was pretty fun!! Then we decided to go shopping, we weren't really planning on buying anything, we just wanted to look around. We also checked out an library and my friend bought a book from there. And then we decided to go eat as we were pretty hungry. Then after a few more hours we saw a boba shop and we also wanted to check it out! I got mango milk , it was pretty good but I hate how the pearls tasted. They literally felt like soggy cereal, and I don't know what I was expecting. And we already had all that lemonade beforehand and we we're pretty full so we didn't drink it entirely. My friends got caramel milk tea and I got to try it but it was barely even caramel.. It was pretty bad. My friend even felt sick after drinking some of hers and so we just decided to throw them out. Waste of 4$!!

Well, after that me and my best friend had planned on a sleepover with a movie marathon next weeked! We have the list of movies and everything, and my step dad is driving us to the mall the next day, where we'll go watch a movie at the cinema.We were thinking to go to orphan first kill, or something horror, but my friend isn't really fond of horror so we just picked something else!
Anyways, for the movie marathon we both just picked comfort movies, most of them are from the 2000s. Some of the movies we picked were: 500 days of summer, Perks of being a wallflower, Mean girls, American Psycho, The black swan!
I'm super excited for it. I know teenagers don't really have sleepover ig, it's all that childish, but theyre so fun so who cares?? Plus my spet dad is also driving us that friday to a grocery store so we can get a bunch of snacks to binge on!
Ok but, since this post was supposed to be about school, let's take a moment to talk about it!! Our schedule for next week was changed and I hate it so bad. We have 7 hours almost daily. I don't live near the school so it takes me long to get home. I had 7 hours last week too, and I got home by 6pm.Our classes end at 3pm. It takes me so long because I have to wait an hour for my bus to arrive and sometimes I miss it becuase its incredibly full... And I was super tired and barely got to finish any of the work i had to do! I was in such a bad mood that day and I can't believe i'll relive this 4 times a week -___-''
anyways, heres some meals we had because i have no idea how to end this post

how i feel about school starting
posted: 8/30/22

school is starting is less than a week, and i'm seriously nervous. i get this overwhelming anxiety everytime i think about it. "How should I dress?",How do I make my hair? Should I do a regular ponytail with a claw-clip or do I just straighten it? Or a blowout?!?, Oh i should wake up so early!! so i can take a long shower and make sure i smell like strawberries and flowers.. Then I get a little lightheaded because, what hour should I even wake up? and what if I collapse from the incredible heat? I mean, it's as hot as an oven in romania over here. And I seriously can't stand it. If It's way too hot outside i'll even risk having my expensive mascara drip, from the sweat, that also *sometimes* happens to get in my hair... and when that happens, my hair also gets wavy again! turning that one hour i spent straightening it, usesless! what if I sweat excessively, and you can smell it... seriously, so many problems. also, having new classmates makes me scared. because i lowkey feel like i'm way too laid back than the rest of the teenagers my age !! but I mean.. what can I do anyways? i'll just get there and stay on my phone. maybe i'll try introducing myself to someone! I just hope i get a nice seat in the back so that the teachers can't see me and I can spend my time on the phone LMFAO.

Although at the same time, I feel excited because my friend will be there with me too. I won't suffer alone and i'm sure i'll get through this year... alive, atleast. we've already made so much plans, both of us are really looking forward to studying and making sure we high our grades... , i mean, i got an D- in math last year. Hopefully that doesn't hapeen again. And so, if we're going to study more we're also to go to cafes after school to study together. so that will be more interesting., I don't like studying alone and stuff.. i get distracted on my phone. but if i'm with someone else then we'll both try to keep eachother concentrated and also we'll talk about what we need to get done, if one of us doesn't understand, the other can explain it, and the sound of that relieves me a little.
We both have been planning our seatings this entire summer basically!! she's gonna sit in front of me, and i'll sit at the 3rd desk. I like staying in the back and she likes in the front, so I guess this is okay. if anyone takes our seats i'm actually gonna fight their ass.

Well, with school starting also comes AUTUMN! and you know me I love autumn. I can finally wear whatever I want, sweaters with shorts or hoodies, and that's comforting. I also just like it because it's not going to be way too hot outside, atleast during night time. Also, my best friend *one mentioned in the other paragraph* and i kinda do everything together! while we may not celebrate halloween in romania, me and my friend have already made plans for october. We're going to go to ***** and get lots of halloween decorations, and snacks. then she'll spend the night at mines, a sleepover basically. and we're gonna have a movie marathon, not necessarily scary, i wish, but just movies we both really enjoy and just rewatching them. Or movies that get you in the scary-autumn mood. Such as corpse bride, coraline, scream, chucky, the addams family, IT there are some of the few i can name from the top of my head. anyways, it's gonna be really exciting. unfortunately we won't do it on the 31th october, and we'll have to do it on the 28th. boring. well, mainly because it's friday, we can fnish our homework, spend all night watching movies and doing normal sleepover stuff, then we will wake up on saturday and have breakfast and stuff.. then she'll go home, and then we have the sunday, a free day, for ourselves and for whatever stuff we wanna do,have a relaxing night, then monday, we'll go to school, and have had a nice weekend. seems like a solid plan to me.

I'll make another blog post tommorrow. I'm going shopping for clothes and accesories and stuff, then I'll maybe post about it!